The First Family Of New Orleans Greets Their Subjects On The Holy Day

March 20, 2011 / Posted by:

With Zahara, Maddox, Pax and the Chipmunk Rapunzel Triplets in tow, St. Angie and Brad Pitt floated through the streets of New Orleans this morning while surveying their land and waving at their loyal subjects. You can’t tell from these pictures, but when the peons of Brangelina’s kingdom weren’t throwing imaginary petals of “Who gives a shit!,” they were bowing their eyelids out of boredom. That is how much they love and worship the Church of BAMZSPKV (just add in a few more random letters in there if I missed one)!

St. Angie and Brad’s subjects should really throw some styling advice their way, because DAMN!

Angie Jo looks like a legal secretary circa 1995 who changed into flip flops in her emerald green Tercel to buy more black pencil skirts in the funeral grandma section of a Robinson’s May. And that hair part paired with that jacket makes Brad Pitt look like a slow mechanic who worked at his brother’s shop for a quick minute before he got fired for rubbing his crotch and nibbling on the edge of a Styrofoam cup while staring at the lady customers in the waiting room.

Where is the suggestion box in the Church of BAMZKLJLJLK located, because I need to file a complaint about their wardrobe choices.

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