This morning, my broke off, dozed off eyes woke up to the headline: “WYCLEF JEAN SHOT IN HAND IN HAITI!” My head is like the inside of an old garbage disposal with busted blades, so I read it as “head” instead of “hand” which made me jump a bit. But I guess getting shot in the hand might be as bad as getting shot in the head to some. Especially if they shoot you in your fappin’ hand of choice. Let’s hope this didn’t happen to Wyclef.
The L.A. Times reports that Wyclef was at a rally in Port-au-Prince for presidential candidate Michel Martelly last night when a bullet grazed his hand. Wyclef’s rep said that he was taken to the hospital, treated for the wound and released after a couple of hours. There’s no information as to who shot Wyclef or why, but it might have something to do with the fact that he was planning on running for president but was disqualified due to residency qualifications.
It’s also not known if Sean Penn was seen fleeing from the scene on a getaway raft.
Since somebody is fucking with Wyclef and trying to stop him from writing checks from his Yele Foundation to CASH, he better take a note from The Black Eyed Peas and start wearing Tron gloves and Captain EO armor.