It was only about six minutes ago when Ashley Greene and Joe Jonas took their final bows and closed the curtain on the act called their relationship, and she’s already hitting the ho stroll hard with supposed manslut Jared Followill of the Kings of Leon. Relevancy doesn’t fall from the sky (unless your name is Rebecca Black Friday), so Ashley is working hard for those clicks and brought Jared along to drive up the picture prices (it didn’t). Ashley, her daddy Joe and Jared celebrated International Drunk Day (or as the Irish call it, every day) at Phebe’s Tavern in NYC yesterday afternoon before doing the walk of famefucking in front of the paps. Whoring aside, I’m guessing that Jared doesn’t pull the “it’s getting late and my penis is falling asleep” move when Ashley takes her bra off, so he’s definitely an upgrade from Joe Jonas!
And speaking of green, am I the only one who doesn’t wear green on St. Patrick’s Day. I don’t understand why most dumb bitches do? Why would you deny yourself pinches from strangers?! I practically beg for that shit to happen every single night, so March 17th is the one day of the year I don’t wear green. When I see a stranger assuming the pinch position with their fingers, I lift up my black shirt and tell them to aim for the nipples. Bring on the pinches!