Lindsay Lohan and White Oprah might be making looks of toxic happiness like they’ve just read the words “open bar” on the invitation for a spray tan party, but on the inside they are fearing FOR THEIR LIVES!!!! No, they aren’t filled uncertainty about their health and well-being because one of the paps yelled out loud that he’s got a low battery and no back up. They are frozen with fear because the paparazzi nearly scared the Drano gel out of their lips. Right after landing their brooms on JFK’s tarmac, LiLo Tweeted this melodramatic mess:
I love ny – but the paparazzi @ jfk just gave me an anxiety attack….. i was half asleep! they’re such animals 🙁 well- @ least im with my family in the end…. xo
Animals?! This coming from a womp womp ho who’s got a goat’s anus on her face. Bitch looks like she should be blowing out digested straw bits in the petting zoo.
But really, the Lohans need to stop with this game of make believe. We all know that White Oprah’s got a GPS tracking device installed in one of her ass cheeks so that the paps can find her any minute of the day. Yes, now you know why White Oprah’s farts sound like the OnStar lady gasping for breath.