Open Post: Hosted By A Maryland Fan’s Stunning Platinum Mane

March 14, 2011 / Posted by:

At the Maryland vs. North Carolina State game the other night, the players and fans were temporarily blinded by the beam of ethereal light dancing off the curls of this beautiful man’s hair. Hair as beautifully bright as that should come with a dimmer switch. And it should also come with speakers, because when its sparkles clink together it sounds just like the melody of Hello Dolly.

It’s as if Joan Rivers asked her plastic surgeon to give her the face of Brooke Hogan and he mistakenly heard “Hulk Hogan” instead. Absolutely ravishing. Doesn’t Grampunzel make you want to sell off all your prized possessions so that you can shower him with rhinestones, silk opera gloves and imported French perfume in a crystal atomizer? If I have just one wish today, it’s to see this gorgeous man stepping out of a white Rolls Royce just once. Marilyn Monroe who?

via Deadspin

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