Daphne Guinness, the extraterrestrial fairy who is an heir to the Guinness fortune, had a conversation with her friend Camilla Long for The Times of London (via Styleite) and when the name “Posh” came up, poisonous venom started to secrete from the pores on the tip of her tongue. At least that’s what The Times of London claims happened. Camilla quoted the Bride of Yeastenstein as saying this about Posh:
“[She is] an ugly pig! Downbeat, miserable and awful. Of course she’s going to make money – she’s backed by Simon Fuller. I don’t have anyone! She annoys the shit out of me.”
Once those booming fightin’ words came foaming out of Daphne’s mouth, the chandeliers shook and her human shell cracked in half before her natural alien form jumped out and galloped into the countryside to massacre Posh’s kind in the pig pen. No, Daphne is now saying that Camilla pushed her words into the cunt grinder to make the article more scandalous. Daphne took to her Twitter to deny away:
I am so sad stitched up by the sunday times. I thought c. long was a friend. I would never call anyone an ugly cow, not my words
I feel like killing myself, I have been stabbed in the back by that journalist
the article was AWFUL, really inaccurate, I work so hard ang this is the kind of shoddy treatment you get. I am beyond hoffified
the journalist I knew from Issie, so i thought she would understand things, we had been friends, she has put words in my mouth
And for the record I not only admire Victoria Beckham but know her and like her. My point was that I do most things alone without a backer.
Damn. Daphne is one of those queens who clutches the velvet curtains (even when there’s no velvet curtains to clutch) for steadiness whenever she feels faint, right? Talk about dramatic. Kill herself over this?! If I wanted to eat the suicide bullet every time I called Posh a “pig,” I’d always be in my white negligee on the catwalk in West Bev’s theater.
And here’s the ho Daphne did NOT call a pig aimlessly wandering around the pen the other day.