Another accurate headline for this would be: What happens when you try to take a picture of anyone outside of a golden showers convention peeing. I don’t think most people would want to take a picture of ANY peen spitting out piss into a urinal. Peeing peen is usually soft, vulnerable and well, it’s got fucking piss coming out of it! It’s safe to say that most of us wouldn’t pinch our nipples and lick our lips to that. Well, not while we’re sober anyway. But some NOT RIGHT ho at SXSW in Austin tried to do just that to Jake Gyllenhaal at the screening for his movie Source Code last night. Bitch forced Jakey to pinch it short! Hollywood News (via Towleroad) has the details of this pissy mess:
Twitter exploded with accounts of a scuffle between Gyllenhaal, who plays a soldier in Jones’ sci-fi thriller, and a guy who tried to take his photograph … er, mid-stream.
“Gyllenhaal apparently grabbed the dude mid-photo, threw him against the wall and was like, ‘are we really gonna do this right now?’” Tweeted Cinematical’s Erik Davis.
And JoBlo, who reportedly was in the men’s room when the “fight” occurred, updated, “Guy just tried to take Jake Gyllenhaal’s picture while he was taking a leak. Cops came. Brouhaha ensued.”
I’ve got enough questions to break a urinal cake with. I mean, who does that?! What if Jakey ate asparagus for lunch and his piss fumes cracked the camera?! How can Jakey’s penis mouth smile for the camera when it’s in the middle of something? Who exactly was the pissing tom planning to sell these pictures to? Urine Weekly? The R. Kelly Review? And did Jakey put his dick away before grabbing at the dude? Because if he didn’t, that would be the golden picture right there. I swear, some dumb bitches just don’t know how to do things!
And are we sure the dude with the camera wasn’t John Travolta?