Sharpen My Shank

Anderson Cooper is as pure as a newly sprouted feather on a baby angel’s wings and as innocent as the first blink from a newborn kitten, so who would ever want to make fun of him? An evil bitch who makes fun of Mah Boo is the same kind of evil bitch who laughs at children when they fall on the streets. Wait. I do that. But this isn’t about me! This is about the the lizard king of the suspender pile they call Larry King. If Larry King had any internal organs, they’d belong to Satan now for what he did to The Silver Fox at Donald Trump’s roast the other night. Larry called Mah Boo “Mah Boonita”, basically. Popeater was there:

The quip that had the audience shocked was when CNN icon Larry King made fun of his former co-worker Anderson Cooper’s sexuality.

Pretending he was still hosting his now-defunct talk show, King took calls from viewers throughout the country and then tossed to Anderson, whose ‘360’ followed his ‘Live’ show every night for years.

“Anderson Cooper is coming up next. Let’s see what SHE’S up to,” Larry said to the packed house.

A FUCKING SHE! I’ll have Larry know that Mah Boo is ALL adonis and has a perfect penis sculpted from silver by Michelangelo himself (my wet dreams don’t lie). I swear, this motherfucker Larry. A regular shank won’t work on his demon ass. I’ll have to blindfold myself and tiptoe into his lair with a blessed sword and a satchel full of unwrappable Werther’s Originals. Hold my bag.