While my brain is spending its rollover thought minutes on wondering if Prince Hot Ginge is going to wear his lucky Union Jack thong on Britain’s special day, most hos are thinking about Kate Middleton’s wedding dress. Kate’s hitchin’ gown is going to be the second most famous dress of the century after THE SLUT DRESS, and now the Telegraph is saying that it will be designed by Sarah Burton of Alexander McQueen. YES! YES! YES! There will be nothing better than seeing Kate Middleton walk down the aisle dressed like a reindeer ghost who fell into a mountain of moth balls after crashing through a gothic grandma’s front room curtains. Say fuck yes to that dress, Kate.
The house of Alexander McQueen has denied the rumors, but the Telegraph thinks they are just saying that to keep the noisy noses from sniffing up their assholes. A source says that Kate and Sarah Burton are working on the dress together. The Telegraph goes on:
Mrs Burton, who took over as creative director of the fashion label following the suicide of Alexander McQueen last year, strenuously denied having won the commission.
But sources said the 36-year-old had been chosen for the discretion afforded by her relatively low profile, as well as for her alternative take on elegance.
If confirmed, the selection of one of Britain’s edgiest labels will be seen as a fresh attempt by Miss Middleton to develop her own unique style after drawing criticism in some quarters for her “conservative” dress sense.
Welp, the designers at David’s Bridal can toss their sketch pads into the dumpster, because I guess this contest was won a long time ago. Seriously, though, Kate should have to tackle and stab a trick in the neck for a wedding dress like normal hos do!
And here’s a few pictures of Kate throughout the years that her family released. If marrying a royal means that your family gets to release all the awkward photos you thought you burned in a metal trash can in the backyard, then count me the hell out. No, I don’t mean that. If getting to wear Prince Hot Ginge’s family jewels on my heads means that everybody gets to see me looking like an anorexic brown Bichon Frise with glasses, then bring ’em out.