Amanda Seyfried and Elle Magazine got together, and some time before or after she posed with a goose, she casually let it be known that she felt the wet warmth of Alexander Skarsgard’s Swedish berries on her tongue once or twice. Amanda said it like nothing. Like the same way John Galliano says, “J’adore di Hitler.” LIKE NOTHING! Allow me to let this information marinate on my WTF place while you go through all the quotes that came out of Amanda’s mouth before she dropped an envelope filled with SKARS.
On her best on-screen kisses: “I can’t lie. It didn’t suck making out with Channing [Tatum] and Justin [Timberlake]. “
On who she would like to be paired up with next: “I’d really love to make out with Michael Fassbender. Put me in a movie with that guy. I’m serious. Wow.”
On falling in love on set: “[It is] one of the easiest things in the world. You’re both open. You’re put in a situation where you have to make out with each other. It’s easy for things to get carried away.”
On how she thought her recent ex Dominic Cooper was breaking up with his longtime girlfriend to be with her: “I was just kind of foolishly thinking that the two of them were done and Dom and I were involved. But we weren’t really as involved as I thought. So I got my heart broken pretty hard.”
On eventually getting back together with Cooper: “…and then it took a long time for us to break up again. After that, it’s really hard to open myself up to a new person. Really hard.”
On her rumored romance with Ryan Phillippe: “Um, yeah. I’ve been ‘seen’ with him.”
On Alexander Skarsgård: “We dated. He’s superfunny, but I was too involved with Dom.”
HUH?! Amanda didn’t dump ASkars because her vagina kept clapping his name in Morse code and it got distracting. And she also didn’t end things with ASkars because she kept screaming the name of IKEA products when he was hitting it from the back and it freaked her out. Bitch quit ASkars for Dominic Cooper! Amanda obviously didn’t say this in front of the goose or that trick would’ve pecked her tongue out. And I would’ve held the goose’s purse while it did so.