Fernando Flores, Our Lady of Cheetos‘ former bodyguard who hit her with a sexual harassment lawsuit after he claims she tried to get down his chonies and flashed his labia rinds at him, is struttin’ his foolery on the ho stroll yet again. This time Fernando is licking his lips, shaking his ass and promising to flat line your retinas by releasing a bunch of nekkid pictures that Brit Brit allegedly sent him. Only your retinas are probably used to it by now since they’ve already been brought back to life by defibrillator paddles after they died the first time they got a glimpse of her coochieronies.
But Fernando still thinks that pictures will cause Brit Brit’s fans to feel SHOCK and DISGUST. After sliding a check between their cleavage, a “friend” of Fernando’s told The Sun, “They are really explicit images that will shock and disgust the majority of her fans. Fernando says he can prove the photos were taken on Britney’s phone and sent to his mobile. He says she sent them last April when she was coming on to him on a daily basis. He left the following month. Some of the pictures show Britney with the camera between her legs. Others show her in provocative positions wearing lingerie. There are a few where she is naked, exposing herself in a way that she clearly hoped would make him aroused.”
That dumb fuck Fernando really needs to look up the meaning of the words “SHOCK” and “DISGUST.” The only way Brit Brit could ever shock us is if she didn’t have Chester the Cheetah’s paw print tattooed on her labia. And the permanent state of the swamp weave on her head has totally desensitized us from feeling disgust about anything the ho does. Besides, when you Google “Britney Spears pussy” you get this:
But you also get a dozen eye fulls of her chicken fried Doublelicious crotch sandwich. We’ve already ventured into that den. So unless Fernando gets pictures of Brit Brit doing something truly SHOCKING (like drinking from a cup that doesn’t say Starbucks on it, for instance), he needs to put his mouth hole over a bowl of STFU grits (prepared by Daddy Spears, of course).