Lindsay Lohan May Go Free Thanks To The Greedy Ass Jewelry Store Owner

March 6, 2011 / Posted by: Michael K

The prosecutors in the robbery case against Lindsay Lohan are putting Neosporin on the paper cuts on their assholes, because they were just fucked with a $35,000 deposit slip. Radar reports Kamofie & Co., the jewelry store that claims LiLo snatched a necklace from them, allegedly sold the surveillance footage of her for $35,000 (riveting still Entertainment Tonight above). Radar’s sources say that Kamofie & Co.’s owner whored it out to a media broker who put it on the stroll and sold it in the US as well as an overseas media outlet. That noise you just heard was every weekend worker at ET knocking their phones off the hook, because they know that White Oprah and her call center of justice (aka Cody, Nana Lohan, Ali and one of her T.G.I. Friday drinking partners) will be hitting them up for profits.

TMZ reports that LiLo has turned down the prosecutors plea bargain deal, because it includes around 3 months of jail time and she’s not about to spend 90 days injecting roach guts and shaving gel into her lips to keep them plump. LiLo has been telling her lawyer that she wants to go to trial instead of settling for jail time, because she believes the lack of evidence will set her ass free. LiLo still insists the owner loaned it her. And going to trial might be a good move now that the jooree store owner has sold the tape for a quick check.

TMZ says that the defense could shit all over the credibility of the jewelry store owner by insinuating that they are using this whole mess to make a dollar.

LiLo is really a freckled magnet for leaches. Even the stores she steals from use her to put more coins into their checking accounts. I mean, selling a surveillance tape like it’s a sex tape?! White Oprah is pulling out her book of tips (aka a stack of cocktail napkins from various bars held by a nipple clamp) and taking notes about this impressive hungry move.

If this gets LiLo off, she should be thankful that the world is filled with whores who are almost as greedy as her parents.

Tags: I Don't Like Jokes

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