Hot Slut Of The Day!

March 5, 2011 / Posted by:

The Chinese Cleavage Clamp – When we’re all chipping away in the trenches together in the near future, we can look back at this 5-minute long infomercial and sadly weep soil-stained tears about how we should’ve seen it coming. This is really how the Chinese is really going to overtake the world and enslave us all. WITH CHICHIS! They don’t need guns, tasers or the air from Chuck Norris’ swift kick to paralyze us. They will stun our ears with high-pitched squawks and then turn our eyes into hypnotic swirls with their drawstring titties! Bow down to our Chinese cleavage clamp overlords.

If I dropped Google Translate over this mesmerizing work of boob art, the subtitles would probably read: “Surrender, America. You are powerless against cleavage making sound effects.” It’s true.

Does your discount corset from the JcPenney intimates section magically pull your belly fat cells up to your chest with just the cinch of a string and the melodic sound of a robot farting? Nope! BOOBZILLA, we surrender!

via Buzzfeed

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