Denise Richards Doesn’t Trust A Winning Warlock With Her Kids

A warlock who’s a blood relative of Tony the Tiger sounds like a character you might rent for your kid’s birthday party, but Denise Richards isn’t about to leave her daughters inside the octagon fortress of duh winning. Besides a few Tweets her and there, Denise has kept her lips shut on the Sheenanigans of Charlie. However, TMZ says that Denise would rather let a coagulated tiger blood ball and a warlock’s anus take care of her 6-year-old and 5-year-old than let them spend a second with Charlie Sheen.

Apparently, Denise believes what Brooke Mueller said about how Charlie proclaimed his hate for her and told his goddesses that he wanted to shave her head off. Denise believes it, because when she turned down Charlie’s invitation for a family portrait (including Brooke, her twin boys and the goddesses), he released his rage on her in the form of several text messages. Denise also has reason to believe that one of Charlie’s goddesses is still hitting that crack pipe.

Denise is doing the right thing. Charlie is currently fiery fists deep in an epic battle against the maggots and trolls, and we all know that a war zone is no place for little girls. And by that I mean Charlie might throw another tantrum when they bring their Barbie dolls out into the garden while his warlock action figure throws “pow pow pows” at actual maggots in the soil.

Denise also doesn’t have to worry about Charlie for a while. Right after he jumped on his mercury surfboard and rode it all the way to Asia, he was captured by the Japanese.

And here I was thinking that it would take a media blackout to turn Charlie Sheen’s #winning into #losing when it really just takes a stick and a volleyball net.

via Videogum