ESCANDALO: Zac Efron Caught Holding Hands With A Guy

March 3, 2011 / Posted by:

That is the National Enquirer’s headline, but they underlined, bolded and leaned the “with a guy” part for maximum dramatic effect. You know, it feels like Miss Benita is whispering this into your ear while waiting in the line for the bathroom at church. Cooch clutch your kegel beads, etc…

An eyewitness tells the Enquirer (via Boy Culture & Towleroad) that Zac chose an NBA party at the W Hotel to openly show his love for the peen by following around a hot buff piece. The hot buff piece must cum Creme de la Mer and have ass lips that taste like blueberry lip gloss, because the witness says that Zac kept at him all night. Zac’s on-and-off-again girlfriend Vanessa Hudgens was there and she really didn’t give a Mickey Mouse shit that he was on a new crotch.

And at one point, Zac and the object of his erection held hands! The surprised witness will explain it for you: “I was shocked at how relaxed and open Zac was with this guy. He walked around talking to him, smiling and holding his hand right in front of everyone, including Vanessa. People were wondering if maybe it was a stunt to make Vanessa jealous. But truthfully, Zac really seemed into the guy. It was bizarre.”

Yeah, yeah, yeah… We’re living in a time where babies learn how to take undetected cell phone video of a ho before they learn how to talk, so where is the proof? I’m going to tell the Enquirer what I tell every bitch on Craigslist who brags that they’ve got a mushroom head 8-incher: show me the pictures, bitch!

(Thanks to Mark for sending this mess in)

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