ScarJo and Sean Penn both played the “WE’RE JUST FRIENDS, OUR GENITALS DON’T TOUCH” card when the rumor about them bumping nipples under a sleeping bag in a tent in Haiti (or wherever) started to go around. But TMZ has concrete solid proof that ScarJo was crossing her chichis and Sean was crossing his peen lips when they said that, because they are lying! I mean, do friends put their feet on each other’s laps while having lunch at a Cuban restaurant in L.A.?! Of course they don’t (they do)!
I wouldn’t be surprised if ScarJo is giving him a foot job and using her jam as lube. And with a RED (the official color of ho shit) napkin over her foot, nonetheless. FOOT SLUTS! I bet they partake in foot fuck orgies in the back of a podiatrist’s office with Rex Ryan and his wife. Nasty bitches.
In possibly related news, the health department has just revoked that Cuban restaurant’s A rating.