Open Post: Hosted By Paula Deen’s Butter-Seeking Tongue

February 28, 2011 / Posted by:

Knowing very well that Paula Deen’s tongue can scrape the butter out of every nook and cranny, Food Network’s Robert Irvine smeared fermented cream all over his hard biscuits and let Fry Daddy’s sweetheart go hog wild on that shit at the South Beach Food & Wine Festival this past weekend. After Paula feverishly licked those abs like a fat boy eating ice cream in the rain and caused Robert’s innie to seal shut for the rest of the day, she put his spine to the test by bareback riding him all around the stage.

Ride that hot bull, Paula! Who cares if Robert will need physical therapy for a broken back and mental therapy for the image of you on your knees in front of him. GET. IT.

And I really don’t need to tell you what happened after Paula “accidentallypoured shrimp juice on Robert’s crotch.

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