Nick Gruber Is Still Living The Life

February 28, 2011 / Posted by:

Wearing a thick layer of stearic acid to protect his skin from melting into a puddle on the sand, Calvin Klein dragged his body through the beach in Miami yesterday with his former porn star piece Nick Gruber at his side. They look like the centerfolds of a Dorian Gray swimsuit calendar. Like the after & before victim of the thinner curse.

Even though Calvin’s body has probably been sucked, pinched, prodded and stuffed by the hands of a dozen plastic surgeons and morticians, the old ho is still looking good from the neck down for being 68 years old.

As for Nick, I’m surprised that Calvin has kept him around this long. Nick is 21 and that’s usually when a sugar daddy starts to smell the old in their sugar baby’s veins and trades him in for a younger piece. But Nick must be doing something right and I can’t hate him for that. Shit, if the Creature of the Black Lagoon’s grandpa gave me a debit card and the key to his penthouse, I’d snort a line of Dramamine, gargle with holy water and get on that.

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