I was wondering why Natalie Portman thanked Michelle Rodriguez* in her never-ending acceptance speech of never-ending thank yous last night, but now I know why. Natalie’s unborn baby is the reincarnation of Nostradamus and told her that Michelle Rodriguez would dress jack Noah Cyrus and stomp through the night in some silver ho shit: boudoir edition. I want to get on a stage myself and thank Michelle for this elegant mess.
MRod is a butch bitch who usually only wears black leather, gun holsters, pocket knives, boxer briefs, a jock strap and a serious snarl, so I’m surprised to see her wearing vintage Victoria’s Secret (and by vintage I mean like 2002).
You know that by the end of the night, Michelle had that skirt hiked over her bagina and downed a Bud while sitting spread eagle like a bow-legged trucker getting a $2 lap dance.
* Yes, I know Natalie Portman thanked a different Michelle Rodriguez, but let me believe.