If you’re about to get into a bowl of Pintos ‘N Cheese or a bean enchilada, you better just back it up and stay far away from this post until you let out your last digestive burp. Okay, now that we’ve gotten that shit out of the way, here’s some more shit for you! This is 28-year-old Abram Boise. You might know his fool ass from Road Rules: South Pacific and about a million of those Real World/Road Rules shows. If you’re a potty training teacher, you might also meet Abram when he comes to you for a refresher course.
The Worcester Telegram says that Abram busted at 2am near a bar in Lunenburg, MA for being a loud drink who can’t keep his urine in his bladder when out in public. My dog pisses on walls in broad daylight so why can’t Abram? But the police didn’t see it that way and they brought him in. Abram wasn’t done taking the piss out of himself, because the officer said that he did a Fergie in his cell. So they moved in to another cell, and that’s when the shit the fan. Or should I say, the shit hit the wall.
Once in his new cell, Abram celebrated being in his new home by squeezing out a Jersey Shore in his hands and smearing that shit (I mean it in the literal sense this time) all over the walls. The officer said that Abram is a regular Poopcasso, because he wrote his name with his own shit. Abram was charged with pissing in public and being an overall nasty scat bitch. Abram isn’t even embarrassed about his acts of grashiti. Abram Tweeted (but later deleted) this mess:
just gout of jail…Loved it…I yelled and kicked their door for hours…Didn’t back down…Tried to stuff poop in his face:)
Cops were assholes tried to mace me in my cell.So I shit in my hand& thew it at him 🙂 fuck the police
Threw his shit at them? Tried to feed him caca? Did he take self-defense classes from monkeys or the girls from 2 girls, 1 cup? I’ve been filled to the top of my head with DRUNK and I don’t think I ever thought about squatting over my hands and… I take that back, there was that one time in Palm Springs…
And just the record, I WOULD NOT! Okay, maybe I would, but only if he kept a wine cork in his shit hole.