The Dandy Pirate Villain Is Fighting Back

ABC will have to find a different bitch to start opposite Charlie Sheen and Mel Gibson in their reboot of Charlie’s Angels called Hitler’s Angels, because John Galliano swears on his mother of pearl moustache tweezers that he never made an anti-Semetic slur and he’s going to sue any bitch who says he has. The secret love child of Boris and Natasha Fatale has twerked his stache and raised his hook at a woman who claims John called her a “dirty Jew face” at a bar in Paris on Thursday night. In France, yelling out Mel Gibson’s favorite vocabulary words can get you a 6-month prison sentence. John was detained by police, but charges have not been pressed yet.

Dior still hasn’t lifted Galliano’s suspension as head designer, so he has a lot of free time to stroke at the end of his thinstache while cackling about the demise of the couple that allegedly wronged him. Galliano’s lawyer issued this statement to AFP (via NYDN):

“There was an altercation. Mr. Galliano was verbally attacked, but at no point did he make any such insults, and we have witness testimony that backs this up.”

Galliano’s cunt fight opponent has been identified as 35-year-old Géraldine Bloch. Geraldine gave an interview to Europe 1 and says that shortly after Galliano ordered a mojito, he called her a bitch and then shouted at her and her Asian friend: “Dirty Jewish face, you should be dead. Fucking Asian bastard, I will kill you.”

Geraldine didn’t say what twisted Galliano’s thong around his ass lips and caused him to spit out illegal words of bitchery. Maybe Geraldine was wearing Chanel or a knock-off Dior she bought on eBay? At this point it’s just an extra fancy game of “he said, she said.” I’m not sure I completely believe that Galliano would let the words “I will kill you” dive off his tongue and land in the ear holes of a stranger. Galliano will only say those words to his longtime arch rival Peter Pan.