What’s The Hidden Message On Brad Pitt’s Diamond Pendant?

Because St. Angie Jolie’s veins are now filled with the watered down panty pudding of her most loyal Brangeloonies, she can’t give Brad Pitt a vial of her blood like she did with Billy Bob Thornton. So Angie has commissioned a special diamond pendant for Brad from London-based jooree maker Robert Procop. Robert tells the Daily Mail that he lasered on a microscopic love note on the pendant. Only the eye on Angie’s hypnotic clit of destruction can read the note without a microscope!! From the DM:

Exactly what Angelina, 35, has written in her billet doux is a secret. Says Procop: ‘I can’t tell you what it says, and you would need a microscope to read it.’

The pendant is based on Ancient Egyptian amulets that contained hidden messages. ‘The technology is quite new,’ he adds. ‘The hidden message is lasered on.’

A close friend of Jolie, Procop is also going into business with her, designing a jewellery range called The Style Of Jolie.

Oh, please tell me Jennifer Aniston snuck into the jewelry store, found the order form, scratched out whatever was written under “the inscription should read” and wrote this instead: “I’m with stupid —->”.

Knowing Angie’s boring ass the inscription is probably a quote from her godfather, GOD, or her true spirit animal Gandhi. Or maybe Angie kept it simple and direct with: “Property of Angelina Jolie. See the testicle stump on his crotch if you need proof of this.”