Prince William and his princess bride-to-be Kate Middleton made their first official engagement as a couple in North Wales today. Prince Willy and Kate made the drunks sad in their thirsty places when they christened a lifeboat by pouring delicious champagne on it. I’ve never understood this truly hurtful tradition. Why waste the sweet nectar on a boat that doesn’t have a mouth, can’t get drunk and will never appreciate the warm feeling of a good buzz? Kate should’ve put that bottle inside of the lifeboat instead. Because if I ever have to throw my life into a lifeboat, I’d like a bottle of champagne to nurse my feelings of uncertainty.
After the future King and Queen of England wasted the booze, they greeted their subjects including a little girl who didn’t know how to tell Kate that a mother bird from the fluffy nest on top of William’s dome flew away and crashed into the side of her head. Yeah, I think William was trying to tell Kate the same thing too.
“GURRRRRRRRRL” – Prince William’s facial expression