Lindsay Lohan’s last court room ensemble was a loose interpretation of Catherine Trammell’s interrogation outfit from Basic Instinct. But except for baring her labia in a dark shadow, she bared the Juvederm-sponsored labia on her mouth under fluorescent lights. Tits and lips! So I was hoping that for her latest date with the judge, LiLo would stick with the theme and pay homage to another erotic thriller: Body of Evidence. I was thinking that she’d stroll up wearing a beret on her head, pearls around her neck, wax on her finger tips and Willem Dafoe’s nut hairs stuck between her teeth. Obviously, she didn’t. I am very disappointed.
Instead, LiLo showed up looking like a high-paid call girl who has decided to leave the business and get a job as temp office worker at a mortgage firm.
So, not much happened in court today. The judge continued to put on his NOT IMPRESSED voice and told LiLo that she’s going to jail
no matter what if she cops a plea. He set her next hearing date for March 10th. LiLo can either take a plea deal from the D.A. (which includes jail time) or she can go the not guilty route and stand trial. If found guilty, she could get 1 year in the chokey for wasting everyone’s time.
LiLo kept her charbroiled smugfaces to a minimum (mostly) and White Oprah didn’t bust into the court on a chariot made of her own delusions to scream INJUSTICE at the judge. Underwhelming all around. On a positive note, LiLo’s tits are hanging so low that her knees can give her a nipples a massage when she sits down.