Martin Sheen Wants Us To Leave Charlie Sheen Alone

February 23, 2011 / Posted by:

Martin Sheen doesn’t really understand why people keep making jokes about Charlie Sheen being a porn star eating, crack smoking mound of mess, because to him drug addiction is a disease like cancer and we’d never sit side-saddle on our extra high horses while laughing at someone suffering through chemo. So why are we making fun of Charlie Sheen?! Why aren’t we ending our blog posts with “send good thoughts to Charlie.” Why aren’t we lighting cyber candles of hope for him? WHY!?

Oh, this is going to be good…

While promoting something or another in the UK, the patriarch of the Sheen family was asked by Sky News how Charlie is doing and he took the time to ask all of us to fill his son’s empty crack pipe with love. Martin said, “He’s doing well. We pray for him. If he had cancer, how would you treat him? This disease of addiction is a form of cancer. You have to have an equal measure of concern and love and lift him up.”

The Sky News reporter tugged at Martin’s skin to make sure it was not White Oprah wearing a Martin Sheen mask, because I’m surprised that quote didn’t jump off of her tongue first. Lift him up? Bitch is already high as all fuck! Damn. You can’t lift someone that is flying on a crack cloud above you.

Yes, addiction is a disease, but maybe instead of telling all of us to seriously handle Charlie’s addiction with care, Martin should tell the same shit to his son. We’re not the ones carrying around a giant sign that reads: “Only smoke crack if you can handle it socially!” Okay, maybe I am carrying around a giant sign that reads exactly that, but only because Charlie promised me a room in his porn palace and a personal check for $30,000 to do so.

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