The goddess who was created when Zeus threw a bolt of lucite at a mermaid rolling around the sand once again reigned over Miami beach today and blessed the beach with the sparks shooting off her exquisite lucite heels. Shauna Sand had a new Euro twink at her side one pap said it’s her ex-boy-in-waiting Greg Knudson (but that thin stick of lean beef is definitely – NSFW alert – not this) and a different pap said it’s her new fiance Laurent. Even though I’m a member of the Church of Lucite, I can never keep track of who is feeding frozen grapes to Shauna’s nipples and spit shining the bottoms of her lucite heels.
The only thing I do know is that she always manages to find a piece that looks like a former member of a failed Euro boy band who now trolls upscale Palm Springs bath houses for old rich men to keep his fancy mullet fresh and his collection of designer sunglasses from outlet malls up to date. That young twink stallion looks like he’s got Bel Ami tattooed in his ass crack and always keeps a traveler size bottle of passion fruit scented lube in his pocket. And I love that his beach pants say “lifeguard” when the only thing he’ll dive into the ocean to save is a tub of body wax and a jar of pomade. The Empress always picks well.