If these were pictures of Matthew Morrison from Glee NOM NOM NOM-ing on Jon Stewart or Olivia Munn from The Daily Show trying to eat the shoulder of Sue Sylvester, not a side-eye would stir. But these pictures of Matthew Morrison and Olivia Munn at the Rangers vs. Flyers game at Madison Square Garden yesterday are making me high with WTFness.
You know, I’m going to believe that this newborn and totally natural relationship bloomed in the most organic way. I’m not going to believe that it was born after their publicists drunkenly schemed in the bathroom of some industry event at 1 in the morning. I’m also not going to believe that Olivia and Matthew met in some publicist’s office before these pictures were taken to go over the steps of the how to correctly straight mug in front of a photographer’s camera at a sporting event.
No, they were not told to have a close-up staring eye contest so it looks like they’re engaging in a tongue party for two. They were not told to force affection by trying to make each other’s mouths look like gaping vaginas. Matthew was definitely not told to gnaw on Olivia’s arm like it’s Lea Michele’s vocal cords. Olivia was not told to look at the camera like, “No, I’m not doing this for extra camera clicks and a blurb in UsWeekly. Nope.” And also, Mathew didn’t get a text message from his publicist reprimanding him for sometimes looking like he’d rather be eating a sloth’s wet fart than holding Olivia’s hand. Nope, not at all.
We should all believe that this is the complete opposite of a FAKE AS SHIT RELATIONSHIP. Since Olivia can’t have Justin Timberlake, she’s settling for his Dollar Tree version. That must be it.