The group of hackers for a cause called Anonymous have already made Tommy Girl’s Scientolohole frown when they took on The Church of LRo a few years ago, and now they’re sharpening their keystrokes and going after The Westboro Baptist Church. You know those crazy bitches headed by Fred Phelps and his daughter Shirley Phelps. They’re the ones who go around screaming that God hates everything from “fags” to “Jews” to “Lady Gaga” to “America.” Judging by Shirley’s dire eyebrow situation, God must really hate Tweezers since that trail of brow weeds above her hate balls have only been plucked with hot fireplace tongs and weasel teeth. But I digress…
Anonymous sent WBC an open letter last night threatening that shit will get forever real if they don’t extinguish the hate by shutting down their websites and promising to never protest a funeral again. The full letter is here, but I’ve copy and pasted a piece for your below:
Your demonstrations and your unrelenting cascade of disparaging slurs, unfounded judgments, and prejudicial innuendos, which apparently apply to every individual numbered amongst the race of Man – except for yourselves – has frequently crossed the line which separates Freedom of Speech from deliberately utilizing the same tactics and methods of intimidation and mental & emotional abuse that have been previously exploited and employed by tyrants and dictators, fascists and terrorist organizations throughout history.
ANONYMOUS cannot abide this behavior any longer. The time for us to be idle spectators in your inhumane treatment of fellow Man has reached its apex, and we shall now be moved to action. Thus, we give you a warning: Cease & desist your protest campaign in the year 2011, return to your homes in Kansas, & close your public Web sites. Should you ignore this warning, you will meet with the vicious retaliatory arm of ANONYMOUS: We will target your public Websites, and the propaganda & detestable doctrine that you promote will be eradicated; the damage incurred will be irreversible, and neither your institution nor your congregation will ever be able to fully recover. It is in your best interest to comply now, while the option to do so is still being offered, because we will not relent until you cease the conduction & promotion of all your bigoted operations & doctrines. The warning has been given. What happens from here shall be determined by you.
WBC hates EVERYTHING but attention so obviously this is fueling their hate machine. WBC, who thinks they’re Kiki Dunst in Bring It On, responded to Anonymous last night with this:
One of the only ways to successfully destroy the crazy mob of hatewhores at WBC is to buy up every piece of card stock so they won’t be able to make signs anymore. Without a sign in their claws, the are nothing! It’s like if I suddenly found out that I’m allergic to eating coconut frosting directly out of the tub. DESTROYED. The other way to destroy those slugs (no offense to slugs, they are wonderful garden creatures) at WBC is to sprinkle them with verb salt made of IGNORE.
And it’s a good thing God does not hate popcorn, because we’re going to eat a lot of it when we sit in Anonymous’ side of the bleachers while watching this battle go down.
UPDATE: Put down the popcorn and let’s all go home. Boo.gif. Anonymous issued another press release saying they never sent out the first press release. They aren’t planning to attack WBC at this time and they say they have bigger bitches to broil.