Blind Items: I Guess, You Guess

February 19, 2011 / Posted by:

This former A list tweener who is now trying to find her own way in the world has been telling people she has lots and lots of secrets about daddy he does not want the world to know so he needs to be quiet. (CDAN)

The secrets Billy Ray Cyrus keeps hidden in his mullet are about to come flying out of the sandpaper bong hole on Miley’s face, so he better just talk into his taco party pack from now on. And no, the world does not want to know these secrets since they will probably make our pores barf and cause Papa Joe to say, “Dude, too far, too far…”

It was big news when this couple broke up, and now you’re going to hear some of the grossest behind-the-scenes details.

There are photos. And a video. In them, the couple is engaged in various sex acts and using lots of filthy language. Since they were married at the time, no big deal, right? Well, the man is wearing leather, a brown cap with a racist symbol, and a gun. He also has a little mustache as the result of a scatalogical act in which the couple engages on the video.

When they broke up, he went to rehab, but curiously left after only a short period of time. Why? So that he could secure the tape. She was also extremely worried about the tape, as its publication would have certainly caused her pristine reputation to come crashing down. Her handlers rushed to the home, couldn’t find the tape, but were able to secure some revealing photos.

So, in case you are wondering why she was so quiet after the breakup, it is because she is still vulnerable to being as condemned as he is. He still has the tape, she still has the photos, and the two will be eternally locked in a Mexican-style standoff. (Blind Gossip)

Sandra Bullock and Vanilla Gorilla? Luckily for Sandra, the tape doesn’t sound as bad as Speed 2. And what’s really surprising is that he’s the one who gets a poopstache instead of her. He does love a good Shitler on his upper lip, right? Total Dirty Sanchez reversal. But Sandra is still so square that I’m sure she wore a rubber glove when she ventured into his Nazi prairie dog burrow and screamed “ewwww” after she did it.

This newly married country singer who you all know, but not really for being a singer, should really watch her husband more closely as he would not stop chatting with every model he saw and even asked for phone numbers. Now, I know our singer has a role model who has been rumored to enjoy the ladies, but I think this was all for him. I think she just doesn’t care which is really sad. (CDAN)

My brain immediately burped up Fishsticks Paltrow’s name until I read the “newly married” part. So I’ll go with Kellie Pickler?

This one blew me away when I heard it. It is so so juicy but I am having a tough time describing it without giving away the people involved. Lets just say that a once married actress who used to be B- and is now just a stay at home mom for the most part specializes in putting together fellow C&D listers with men who would have some um, disposable income. No regular people. It is strictly D listers who have been famous at one point or another. Even though they are C&D listers at least three names you would know. (CDAN)

Denise Richards would make a really good madam because she always sticks to the pro ho’s code of silence. I’ll guess her and I’ll also say that she D-listers she set up were: Spaghetti Cat, La Pequena and Quween on the Scene.

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