If you crushed pieces of Madge’s Rain video, the fight scene from Mimi’s Heartbreaker video and a 26-page product placement contract into a fine powder and sprinkled sweat from a Derek Blanks Alter Ego photo shoot and a splatter of Ke$ha’s DayGlo vomit, you’d hallucinate Brit Brit Spears’ “Hold It Against Me” video after you licked all that shit up.
This is the video that they’ve been hyping so much that they made it sound like after you finished watching it you’d find a bowl of Daddy Spears’ Velveeta grits and a Trenta Frapp outside your front door. That didn’t happen, but Brit Brit is wearing my cholita cousin’s quince dress. The same quince dress that the dumb ho tried to return after she stained it with chocolate frosting and Bailey’s. So I’ll give Brit Brit that!
And the only thing I want to hold against Brit Brit, is an extra moist Sharpie because those brows are looking dusty.