There should be a picture of O.J. Simpson above, but wouldn’t you rather see Marcia Clark with Nancy Grace hair and a bra full of revenge cleavage? Yes? Yes. Now on to the news that might be a lump of “damn.” in your morning syringe of caffeine. That story about Orenthal James Simpson getting beat like a double murder charge by a gang of skinheads has been officially denied. Yup, that’s where that “DAMN” comes in.
Officials at Nevada’s Lovelock Correctional Center tell TMZ that O.J. never found himself in the middle of a prison yard ass whoopin’. O.J. didn’t spend three weeks in the infirmary. O.J. isn’t hiding under his cell bed out of fear that the skinheads are coming back for more.
Sources at the prison also tell TMZ that when correctional officers told him about The National Enquirer’s story, O.J. laughed so hard that his hand shrunk and the glove fit! O.J. thought the story was really fucking hilarious. O.J. was then quoted as saying, “I haven’t laughed this hard since October 3, 1995!!“*
* O.J. dumb ass was not quoted as saying that. O.J. never said that…out loud, anyway.