Esperanza Spalding now has a face to go with all the thousands of “DIE IN A HOLE” text messages that have been bombing her phone ever since she “took”
candy a Grammy from a baby Bieber. This is young Jonah, one of the more mature Beliebers out there, letting out a trail of tears over his teenager losing the Grammy. Esperanza Spalding! You are making the children cry! How dare you make better music than Justin Bieber! HAVE YOU NO HEART?!
Some of you might think it was wrong of Jonah’s parents to record the saddest moment in his life and upload it to YouTube, but I’m all for people embarrassing their kids as soon as possible. Every parent should do it. You never know when you’ll need ammunition for a future battle. Sometime in the future when Jonah is complaining about how his parents won’t let him do something, they can just pull out this video and BOOM. It’s over. Seeing your young self crying over the Bieber will render you mute every time.
And there’s something about how Jonah keeps calling Justin “his teenager.” It’s like if Gollum was a child named Jonah and his “precious preeeecious” was a teenager named Justin Bieber. Lord of the…..WRONGS.