O.J. Simpson Got The Beat Down In Prison

This is some shit straight out of the best (or worst, depending on who you ask) episode of Oz. The National Enquirer is saying that O.J. Simpson was on the bad end a good old-fashioned prison yard ass whoopin’ and is now shaking like a tire on a speeding Bronco. O.J. is so scared that he refuses to leave his cell. And it all happened because a group of crazed white supremacist motherfuckers heard O.J. openly brag about fucking beautiful white woman after beautiful white woman.

Bruce Fromong, O.J.’s former business partner, tells The Enquirer that the young skinheads circled O.J. in the yard and whooped it fucking up while one of them kicked and punched at him until he blacked out. A bloody O.J. was taken to the infirmary where he spent 3 weeks recovering. O.J. has since returned to his cell, but he’s afraid for his life and won’t go back into the prison yard anymore. Bitch, you scared.

Officials at Nevada’s Lovelock Correctional Center, where O.J. is serving 9 years for armed robbery, had nothing to say about this mess.

The word “KARMA” is probably cumming on your mind right now, but it would’ve really been karma if he left his glasses in the prison yard and went back to get them only to find an “UH OH” moment waiting for him. There’s really nothing more for me to say about this, so I’m just going to go and write an e-mail to the Lovelock Correctional Center asking them to please unite O.J. and the skinheads (that is a really terrifying band name) by forcing them to star in a prison yard performance of Thriller.