Madge Loves Express Yourself Lite

The most terrifying thing to come out of the egg world since balut carried all of her Grammy trophies on The Tonight Show last night and talked to mutant egg head Jay Leno (you know that made her tuck quiver) about her community college science fiction art project (aka “The Green Egg and H.A.M.”), her inspiration Willow Smith, her airport tumble and how everyone is saying that “Born This Way” is simply a misshapen kidney stone passed by “Express Yourself.” Lady Gaga didn’t admit to cloning EY’s DNA, and she didn’t deny it either, but she did say that Madge loves it and that’s all that matters to her. Clip below:

I’ve typed out her response to that mess in case you don’t want to see through 8 minutes of Caca meekly sitting and slightly shaking like the old lady at the bus stop who takes 45-minutes to unwrap a piece of candy and always wants to read your palm.

“There is really no one that is a more adoring and loving Madonna fan than me. I am the hugest fan, personally and professionally. And… Well, the good news is, I got an e-mail from her people and her sending me their love and complete support on behalf of the single. And if the queen says it shall be, then it shall be. And I think it’s so important as well, I think today in music there’s the freedom in the song, the sort of R&B early 90s vibe that it has. It’s so full of love and spirit. I think it’s the spirit that people are reacting to the most. I just want everyone to rejoice and celebrate and be unafraid to be happy with music. It doesn’t always have to be so dark. It doesn’t always have to be so sexy. Sometimes it’s just wonderful to celebrate life and kind of go to church with it.”

Go to church with it? And now the thieving Klingon trollop is copying fucking LIKE A PRAYER! PENAL CODE 211 ALERT. But seriously, if Madge isn’t checking her purse first thing in the morning to see what Caca snatched from her this time, then we should all drop it. Although, I find it a little strange that Madge used the word “love” to describe her feelings about something other than foreign boy toy dick and crumpets. I wouldn’t be surprised if that e-mail contains a voodoo spell and Caca unknowingly promised all her unborn children to Madge when she read it out loud. Madge is totally going to fuck and marry all of Caca’s tuck babies now.

And no, I don’t know why Caca is dressed like Venom’s grandma who lives in The House of the Weeping Widows.

via ONTD