This past weekend, The New York Times published an article on how there’s not one black actor nominated for an Oscar this year. They documented black winners of the past and they left out a few names including Whoopi Goldberg’s. Whoopi felt it was disrespectful and she fired at The New York Times on The View this morning. The always modest Whoopi brought her Oscar as back-up and told those not knowing hos that she was the first black actress to win an Oscar after Hattie McDaniel 50 years (she originally said 70 years) earlier. Whoopi said that even the most rare insects on Planet Earth who have never seen a human face would know who she is. EVERYBODY KNOWS WHOOPI.
Whoopi was so angry that if she had eyebrows, they would’ve caught on fire sending a piping hot cloud of smoke floating up to the sprinklers. The sprinklers would’ve went off and the water would’ve melted Elisabeth Hasselcrack immediately. This is why eyebrows are important and we should all have them.
Popeater says that The New York Times isn’t planning on apologizing, because they were focusing on the winners of the 2000s and Whoopi won in the 90s. STILL! The New York Times should issue a full page apology and print it in every single edition until the Oscars. If they don’t, Whoopi is going to continue to complain about this shit every single day. Besides, you don’t fuck with a woman who dresses like the nurse at an Amish daycare center.