The Photoshop Awards: Jessica Simpson In New York Magazine

With her head on Lady Gaga’s body, and Lady Bunny’s wig on her head, Jessica Simpson poses for New York Magazine and talks about her $1 billion dollar fashion empire (“I never thought I’d be some fashion mogul!“) and her gold digging fiance (“He has so many books. Like, just books and books and books and books.”). But I’m focusing more on the tumbleweed of Barbie ponytails on her head. If that isn’t a FUCK YOU to Ken Paves disguised as an obese wig, then I don’t what is. Jessica stopped fluttering around Ken’s fruit bowl when she picked up a gold digger and now she does this to him?

Ken can’t even touch a piece of blonde weave without shedding a single tear while thinking about how he would laugh when Jessica would come back from the bathroom and tell him that the health department is going to put an F over his door because of the rotten shit she dropped in his toilet (awwwww). And then he chokes up when he remembers the time Jessica asked him if weave pieces were baby wigs (awww, the sequel). Jessica knew what she was doing when she put that mop on her head. New York Magazine put that wig on her head to make her ass look smaller, but they made her cold-hearted bitch gene look bigger while doing so. Well, played…actually.