I’m mad that I had to see these craft project reject shoes on the feet of a bronzer glazed ham like Ashanti instead of on Lindsay Lohan’s coke caked hooves when she showed up to court the other day. Whoever made this mess (probably a renegade member of the Red Hat Society) using an old suede glove, back stock from Chinese Laundry, Barbie earrings and acrylic nails on discount from Sally’s Beauty definitely had Lindsay Lohan in mind when they put this shit together. So how did Ashanti get a hold of them? Bitch must’ve found them in LiLo’s dumpster after pulling that dress out of Khloe Kardashian’s compost pile nearby.
Is this what it’s really come to for Ashanti? Summoning camera clicks at a fashion show by stuffing her overbaked feet into a pair of hideous ass shoes?! I shouldn’t be mad at her for this, though. I really shouldn’t. Ashanti’s career has been telling her to fuck off for years, so it’s about time she gets her turn to curse a bitch out. I’m taking it, Ashanti. Although, she couldn’t done the same thing by wearing CROCS. Nothing says “fuckit and fuck you” like a pair of silicone devil shoes.