Mah Boo Anderson Cooper has returned from Cairo, Egypt where the ichor that flows through his veins almost splattered against the streets after a group of fox-hating thugs did not respect the beauty and delivered several blows to his head. You might want to put on your anti-innuendo goggles for this one, because when it comes to Mah Boo, they just pour out of the open sewer pipe in my brain.
Mah Boo sat next to David Letterman last night to talk about the serious shit situation in Egypt as well as how he doesn’t recommend getting pummeled. That’s not what he says, Mah Boo! And by “he” I mean your proctologist. NO. The Silver Fox does not like getting pummeled. He much prefers if you spoon him while softly whispering the day’s headlines into his ear. Now if the Egyptians thugs did that instead of pummeling him, we wouldn’t have a problem. I mean, did they not see the Handle With Care sign that cherubs carry over Andy’s head at all times?
Not only did the word “pummeled” jump out of his mouth, but he also used the word “pumped.” Get me a new pair of chonies and drag a tub of Prep H over here, because I’m done. After Mah Boo used the words “pummeled” and “pumped” in the span of a few minutes, I felt like I was lying face down in the steam room of a David Barton Gym with a wet towel over my head and not one feeling in my ass. I’m exhausted!
Here’s Mah Boo pre-IB (innuendo bomb) outside of Letterman in NYC yesterday. Look at him work that suit like a newbie butchie posing in a Men’s Warehouse dressing room for the first time!