Lady Gaga is on the March cover of Vogue and despite the fact that she snatched
Meloncat’s Limecat’s helmet and dipped it in cotton candy which caused her eyebrows to fearfully run into the forehead of a comforting chola, she looks almost normal-ish. Caca isn’t wearing a dickey made out of silicone anuses or an outfit that can double as a 3rd grader’s diorama project. Lady Gaga is actually wearing things that fall under the category of: clothes. That being said, Meloncat Limecat is still not amused by the wig snatch:
Ms. Swan, Louise Brooks and Trixie co-sign this.
Meloncat Limecat was definitely #bornthisway while Lady Gaga was #boughtthisway. Meloncat Limecat is going to search the Vogue credits for this mess and his name better be printed next to “I owe everything to….”
And here’s a few quotes from her interview with Vogue which have turned the inside of my stomach into the color of Caca’s lips.
On how one of her greatest talents is not barfing on stage: “I don’t know if you knew this. But the other night, in London, I had food poisoning. I was vomiting backstage during the changes. Nobody knew…I just Jedi mind-tricked my body. [I told myself] ‘You will not vomit onstage.'”
On how she molests little monsters every night: “Sometimes, being onstage is like having sex with my fans. They’re the only people on the planet who in an instant can make me just lose it.”
On how her fans are bad kids, or something: “I see myself in them. I was this really bad, rebellious misfit of a person–I still am–sneaking out, going to clubs, drugs, alcohol, older men, younger men. You imagine it, I did it. I was just a bad kid. And I look at them, and every show there’s a little more eyeliner, a little more freedom, and a little more ‘I don’t give a fuck about the bullies at my school.'”
On how she’s full of so much modesty: “Speaking purely from a musical standpoint, I think I am a great performer. I am a talented entertainer. I consider myself to have one of the greatest voices in the industry. I consider myself to be one of the greatest songwriters. I wouldn’t say that I am one of the greatest dancers, but I am really quite good at what I do. I think it’s OK to be confident in yourself.”
Excuse you, Caca? The greatest voice in the industry? BITCH SHUSH! Until Kanye West snatches the mic out of Taylor Swift’s hand and declares you the greatest, you are not the greatest. Or until the full name “Stacey Lynn Swain” appears on your birth certificate.