ROJO was knocked up! ROJO had a boy! You can read the details at People while I go and try to switch myself with Rojo Jr. Wish me luck! I’ll be back!
Okay, I’m back. The doorman didn’t buy my Baby Rojito disguise of a Home Depot onesie, a Land’s End diaper, a shaved Annie wig and ginger angel wings. But that will not stop me from celebrating the BABY NEWS OF THIS AND EVERY CENTURY! The lesbian stork slid down the orange part of the rainbow and delivered a healthy baby boy into golden womb of Rojo Caliente. Yes, Rojo was pregnant with the second coming of Rojo Caliente for 9-months and we never knew.
Most of us figured that the halo-like glow coming from her belly was just her Care Bear Stare power acting up again. And when I watched a glittery unicorn with a red mane fly over the city last night, I figured Clay Aiken just farted again. But no, the unicorn was welcoming our new beacon of ginge.
Cynthia Nixon’s rep confirmed that Rojo gave birth to their first son together in NYC last night. Cynthia has a 14-year-old daughter and an 8-year-old son with her ex-partner Danny Mozes. The rep didn’t say who their son’s biological father is, but they did say that Cynthia and Rojo have named him Max Ellington Nixon-Marinoni.
Max Ellington! And his initials are MEN-M. Max already has a name for when he wants to start an Italian new wave music group. Congratulations to my favorite ginger (sorry PHG) and my favorite celebrity couple! I will be smearing my eyeballs with Vaseline and SPF in anticipation of seeing Baby MEN’s first spread in the Home Depot newsletter.