The stroll has been aching to hear the roar of Sienna Miller’s bulldozer vag and wives have been sleeping a little too soundly lately, so it pleases me to learn that things between her on-and-off again piece Jude Law are set to off again. Don’t bother declaring a CODE: LOCK UP YER HUZBANDZ, because Sienna can pick a lock with her clit and sniff out precious metal dust on a wedding finger from miles away.
A friend of Jude Law tells People that there wasn’t any kind of scandal involved with their break-up and their relationship simply ran out of breath, stopped and walked over to the bleachers to take an indefinite nap. Jude’s rep confirms that Sienna is no longer licking the skin triangles on his head.
Thank the homewrecking slut gods for this. Eddie Cibrian and LeAnn Rimes’ homewrecking game is just pathetic and Blake Lively’s acts of ho shit are laughable. It’s like they’re all still taking classes at a Montessori school and Sienna is teaching the MASTER CLASS at fucking Harvard. Seasoned Sienna is finally back and I’m sure she’ll be better than ever once she squirts a little WD-40 on her rusty parts and gets things going again. I really can’t wait to see which dude will star in the next episode of Sienna’s Extreme Makeover: Homewrecker Edition. Move that bus!