Eva Longoria And Penelope Cruz’s Brother Do It On A Boat

Here’s pictures from the past couple of days of Eva Longoria and Eduardo Cruz standing near each other on a friend’s yacht in Miami. This (and the picture of Eduardo’s tongue bungee jumping into Eva’s mouth) pretty much confirms that Eduardo is Eva’s full-time rebound fuck partner. Not because their mouths have become one, but because ho is SANS FARDS.

I know Eve has been photographed without her make-up mask on before, but for some reason she’s always reminded me of one of my sluttier friends (that is really saying a lot) who has always REFUSED to be seen in her natural state. This bitch goes to bed with a full face of make-up and prays to the saints that MAC comes out with a shower head attachment that squirts out bronzer. After most normal hos drunk barf in a parking lot outside of a club, they scream for a mint or another cocktail (or a mint julep to kill two birds, etc….), but my friend screams for her lipstick and a compact! A shame. Anyway, this ho told me that she knew shit with her boyfriend was the real thing when she let him give her a facial of love and she didn’t even freak out about how she didn’t bring her drag face case with her. I mean, he definitely saw her SANS FARDS after she washed her face in his bathroom and she didn’t care. That’s the real true test of love. So yeah, Eva and Eduardo are totally going to last.

And Eduardo sort of looks like what you’d see if you stared at Wilmer Valderrama with beer goggles on, so YAY for Eva.