So, Snookitina twisted and screwed the lyrics to the Star Spangled Banner in front of millions upon millions of people at the Super (Smoke A) Bowl tonight, but that’s not what’s got my ears crying like a bald eagle. Xtina screeched like a macaw pushing out a dry ostrich egg while riding high speed on a bumpy carousel. You can’t tell from this clip, but the pilots in the planes flying overhead had to parachute out after Xtina’s “Chewbacca getting sodomized with R2D2″ yodel broke their windows. Bitch’s tonsils practically touched my screen. Francis Scott Key rose from the grave and is now on a Greyhound bus heading towards Dallas to lay a STFU on her ass.
On a positive note, there won’t be any dogs barking in Dallas tonight, because most of them are probably under the bed with their paws stuck in their ear holes. And on another positive note, the layers of red lipstick on Xtina’s mouth didn’t try to run away. That’s real loyalty for you.