Get Your iPhone Out, Shia’s In Handcuffs!

February 6, 2011 / Posted by:

Shia LaBeouf has a reputation to uphold as the scrappy Boo-Boo Bear of Hollywood who has the ragey spirit of Russell Crowe, so as you may know he got into a bar brawl on Friday night. Now Radar has a riveting video from the scene (above) and the EXCLUSIVE EXCLUSIVE details from the other asshole involved in the beef with LaBeef. And every word that comes out of Mark Mastro’s douche hole makes you inch closer and closer to Shia’s side.

Mark says that he’s always been a fan of Shia’s work (“Dude, I loved you in Even Stevens!“) and so when he saw him boozing at Mad Bull’s Tavern in Sherman Oaks, he took a seat at his table without an invitation and asked for an autograph. Mark explains, “My girlfriend saw Shia, and told me. I wanted to get a picture with him so I went over to his table, sat down next to him, and told him I was a fan of his. I called him Mr. LeBeouf. He didn’t want anything to do with me. He said he just wanted to chill and refused to do a photos. I walked away.”

A little while later, Mark and one of his friends were out on the front patio of the bar when Shia came waltzing out. Mark’s friend said “what’s up” to Shia and he told them to fuck off. Mark then called Shia a “fucking faggot,” which was LaBeef’s cue to curse them all out and charge at them. Shia got in Mark’s face and chest-bumped him. You know, because the best way to prove that you’re not into man-on-man action is to touch nipples with another dude while getting heated in the head. I came.

Mark says that’s when the bouncer bounced in and put Shia in a headlock. A cop happened to be driving by and so he stopped to put Shia in handcuffs. Shia was later released and no arrests were made.

So Mark rudely interrupted Shia’s sweet nectar time and then he called him a fucking faggot? Trying not to sound like a dumb fuck asshole: Mark is doing it totally wrong. That being said, Shia needs to sit on a bong and turn down the RAGE. If Shia really wanted to get those assholes off his dick, he should’ve just pulled out his phone and played one of his movies for them. That’ll clear the room faster than Jessica Simpson farting into a fan. That’s how you really win a fight.

Video via ONTD

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