Before a string of diamond tears on his head is pulled out during a brawl, Mah Boo Anderson Cooper is leaving Cairo and heading back into the bosom of America for comfort (In other news, I’ve changed my name to America). Mah Boo will return to NYC where the only threat he has to worry about is me coming at him with a slobbery hole (you decide which one). Actually, me coming at him with a slobbery hole is worse than an Egyptian coming at him with an angry fist.
Now that Mah Boo is almost safe and sound, we can now focus on who we’re going to send to Egypt in Mah Boo’s place. My vote goes to Miss Downriver Trash 2010 Jennifer Lyn Petkov or Teen Mom Amber because that bitch will punch back.