Posh can wipe that “God, I’m surrounded by so much dick” look off her face finally, because The Sun has whispered out the rumor that she will no longer be the only lady of the Beckham manor. Posh is apparently trying to find ways to inject Ephedra and laxatives directly into her placenta, because there’s no way she’s going to birth a daughter who can’t fit into a size -2 Lagerfeld onesie! No baby of hers is going to wear Baby Spanx!
A source tells The Sun that during her 16-week ultrasound scan last month, Posh and Becks found out that she’s carrying a girl, which they’ll obviously name Little Gucci Dress Beckham. The source also terrorized my soul by shooting me with an OTM bullet made of cow shit, “David and Victoria are over the moon. This will be their last child and to be told they are having a girl is the icing on the cake for the Beckham clan.”
That OTM bomb did not come from the mouth of a Beckham, so I will overlook that for now.
And there’s a part of me that hopes the Beckham daughter turns out to be a butchie baby who has a natural smile plastered on her little face at all times and insists on only wearing toddler Timbs and Dockers. I’d love to see the look on Posh’s scowlface when her new baby girl kicks away the custom-made 6-inch booties she bought her. It’s a good thing air can hold Posh’s skinny ass up so she won’t bust her head when she faints.