Dressed like he’s about to do early morning Tai Chi in the park, Jude Law hung out with a couple of friends on the streets of London today. Not only does Jude look like he’s about to stretch with the oldies, but he’s also dressed exactly like my abuelita when she would take a casual walk up the neighbor’s sloped driveway and “accidentally” fall against their avocado tree causing a few ripe fruits to fall into her plastic bag from Stater Bros. Sometimes the neighbor would catch her and she’d disappear into the shrubs separating our houses like one of the “mysterious creatures” in The Village or some shit.
And it’s blasphemous to bring up my abuelita and bulges in the same blog breath, but where’s Jude’s? Unless it’s long and flat like a lasagna noodle with a crimini mushroom tip, I doubt that thing in his pocket has ever touched Sienna Miller. I think.