And 100% of that beauty is beaming off of the ethereal ghoul above! Bravo announced today that they have pushed back The Real Housewives of NYC into the spring to make way for The Real Housewives of Miami which will dirty our TV screens with Juvederm and queso blanco splatters on February 22nd. Most of the cast look like they just fell out of a “day in the life of Miss Universe” montage, but the beautiful bruja sprinkled throughout the preview below ripped off one of her sharp brows and stabbed it directly into my heart. She’s not in the full-time cast, but she’s definitely the Miss Lawrence/Dwight/Giggy/Kim G of this shit show.
Don’t mind me, I’ll just be lounging in the beautiful witch’s cauldron like it’s a Jacuzzi. I won’t even get scared when she starts throwing in raw carrots and potatoes. FEAST:
And here’s the cast list from Bravo:
Lea Black: Deeply loved, occasionally uncompromising, but universally respected, this Texas native is leaving an indelible mark on Miami. Married to one of the top criminal defense attorneys in the country, Roy Black, and raising their 9-year-old son, Lea has a reputation as a community leader. She raised money for President Barack Obama during his 2008 presidential campaign as well as many other local Florida politicians, and spends a majority of her time working towards the success of her own beloved charity.
Marysol Patton: Miami native Marysol Patton is one of Miami’s most sought-after women both socially and professionally. Divorced 10 years has allowed her to put all energy into creating and running one of the premiere public relations firms in town, the Patton Group. Armed with her bedazzled iPhone and a hot female staff, this PR maven definitely knows how to throw a party for her A-list clients. When Marysol’s not working, she finds time to hang with her mother Elsa, a character in her own right. Elsa considers herself a “seer,” not a psychic and she’s a hot commodity amongst A-listers looking for spiritual guidance.
Adriana DeMoura-Sidi: This Brazilian bombshell is a full-time mom and a highly respected art curator who is always on the go. Coming off a traumatic divorce, Adriana wasted no time meeting her new fiancée, Fredric. Still her relationship is always on the rocks, as Adrianna’s flirtatious ways and fiery personality seem to get her in trouble and leave her peers gossiping.
Alexia Echevarria: This “Cuban Barbie” holds the pulse of Miami’s Latin culture. As the executive editor of Venue Magazine, Alexia spotlights the latest fashion trends as well as up-and -coming Latin film and TV stars. Alexia loves to spend time at her Miami Beach home with her husband Herman, and admits she is at times more of an older sister than a disciplinarian to her two sons from a pervious marriage.
Cristy Rice: As a Miami native who is beyond proud of her roots, Cristy’s sassy Latina flair is evident in everything she does. Recently divorced from NBA superstar Glen Rice, Cristy has entered a new phase of her life, being single and living out loud. When she’s not out dancing at night or dealing with relationship drama, Cristy’s life is jam-packed with being a single mom to her three children and running her own clothing store.
Larsa Pippen: This wife of NBA superstar Scottie Pippen shares the unofficial title of “Hottest NBA Wife” with her friend Cristy Rice. A snarky Lebanese beauty, Larsa boasts that she’s successful at everything she does, including playing wife and mother to her four young kids. When she’s not busy turning her three little boys into star athletes, shopping for her one-year-old princess, or firing nannies, Larsa is happy to spend a little time on herself.
But besides the enchantress of elegant darkness, this mess really does look awful.