Jewel Of Denial

February 3, 2011 / Posted by:

The Los Angeles County D.A. is trying to decide whether or not to press charges against Lindsay Lohan for walking out of a store in Venice, CA with a $2,500 necklace around her neck and without a receipt for that shit in her suction cup hands. Kleptohan’s stylist returned the necklace to the police a hot second after a judge issued a warrant to search her house of delusion, but that doesn’t mean she’s off the hook. Blohan already queefed out her signature “Who? What? Huh? Where am I?” denial, but the D.A. isn’t entirely convinced. Let’s all welcome the D.A. to Obvioustown. Population: Everybody but the Lohans.

According to one of TMZ’s sources, the surveillance video doesn’t have any audio on it, which could help LiLo’s case. LiLo claims that the store owner let her borrow the necklace. The store owner also had LiLo’s address on file, but they never tried to contact her ass to get their shit back. The Crackful Dodger was also photographed wearing the necklace (that tiny little string on her neck in the picture above), which has some asking if she’s stupid enough to wear her snatched booty out in the open like that. My answer is: YES!

The bitch is shameless. Remember when she stole that fur coat and then wore it around the paparazzi? I bet the ho gets off on it. Just like Michael Lohan’s nipples chirp when he straps his cell phone onto his waistband, LiLo’s labia claps when she’s wearing somebody else’s crap.

With all that being said, you know who else is going to get robbed? The bitch who lays down $2,500 for that little ass necklace! How is that thing $2,500? Is it made from the jizz stream of a unicorn? The only piece of joo-ree I’d pay $2,500 for is an Anderson Cooper pearl necklace. And you know I’d shellac that beautiful mess onto my skin. Toxic skin poising be damned!

(Image via

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