Conflicting Facial Expressions

February 3, 2011 / Posted by:

Reese Witherspoon and her fiance Jim Toth left a restaurant in Brentwood, CA last night before synchronizing their emotions inside. Jim’s face is telling us that he can’t wait to get home and suck on that chin like an Everlasting Gobstopper. Reese’s face is telling us that she’s having an internal melancholy moment reminiscing about all the precious times Jake Gyllenhaal gently plucked her brows while humming the Cadbury Eyebrows Song. Reese misses that.

I don’t know if it’s just these pictures, but Jim has a thick layer of The Situation (that’s a fancy phrase for “douche“) spread all across his face. That’s the face you’d find staring back at you when you turn around to see the asshole that just gave you a wedgie. Fratface. Maybe that’s why Reese looks so sad. Dude just made her chonie’s label touch her neck. I know that I make that same face whenever I get a panty burn on my asshole.

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